Why my marriage ended – Pastor Tolu Odukoya
The Associate Senior Pastor of The Fountain of Life Church, Toluwani Odukoya, has opened up about her separation from her husband, Olumide Ijogun.
They married in 2012, and their union has produced three children: two girls and a boy.
During an interview with “Truthtable”, which she posted on her personal YouTube page on Thursday, the 40-year-old revealed that she separated from her husband due to circumstances beyond her control.
The gospel singer said, “I’m separated. Most of you don’t know that I’m separated, and that’s actually defined or shaped my life. It was circumstances beyond my control, but sometimes when you get into a marriage, you don’t get into it to leave it. In fact, it’s a death in a way when your marriage is over, it’s a death.
“So, I’ll say the last 10 years, I’ve experienced a couple of deaths. The death of my marriage, the death of my stepmom, the death of my dad’s twin sister and the death of my father. And that happened in the course of 24 months between 2021 and 2023. My ex-husband is a great man, but sometimes I feel like if God doesn’t ordain you guys to be together and you force yourselves, then the likelihood of you guys staying together is very low.”
Differences
Additionally, she described her ex-husband as a good man, adding that she, too, was a good person.
Toluwani emphasised that their separation did not mean either of them was bad.
Reflecting on why the marriage did not work out, Toluwani noted, “If you guys are two different people going on two distinct paths in life, it’s not particularly that the person is bad. They’re good people, but they’re just not good for you.
“I was a good person. I probably was not good for him, and vice versa.”
She described her separation from Mr Ijogun, along with the deaths of her father, mother, and stepmother, as a deeply heartbreaking experience.
“That happened in 2021. I was very broken by that, and then to have everybody else I mentioned die because of sickness. So, when somebody dies because of illness, you see them deteriorate. My mother passed away suddenly. It was a crash. When people are ill and you watch them go from one stage to the other, and we’re praying, I wrote, if you give me a reason, God, I’ll praise you without a reason.
“I’ll still praise you. Sometimes you pray and believe that because you’ve prayed, God must answer, but God does answer, and it just might not be the answer you are asking for, right? And all those moments will define you because you ask yourself, okay, if God doesn’t give me this thing I’m asking for, would I still serve him? Why am I truly serving God? Do I serve God because he can do all things and he can give all things to us, or am I serving Him because he first loved me and He gave his all for me and that even when I don’t understand, because he loves me, the Bible says it’s all going to work out for my good,” she noted.
Calling
She added that, despite the heartbreak, she accepted her pastoral calling, even when she felt undeserving of it.
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Toluwani added, “When the call came, I told God, ‘You know all the baggage I’m trying to navigate. But if you call me to serve, maybe you’ve put something in me.’ I just decided to keep my eyes on Jesus. I don’t even know it. I’m not, I can’t figure it out, but if you call me to serve, then maybe you’ve put something in me. I will trust you enough to say yes. I’m not trusting.
“I’m not saying yes because I know I have it all together. I know I don’t have it all together but if you choose to call me and you’re the all knowing God, you made me, you created me, you know what you’ve put inside of me and I trust you enough to walk on water and what I’ve done this whole time is just as I’m walking on water because I truly am walking on water. This is way above my head. I’ve decided to keep my eyes on Jesus, and he’s been amazing to me.”
PREMIUM TIMES earlier reported that Toluwani and her brother, actor Jimmy Odukoya, succeeded their late father, Taiwo Odukoya, who died in the United States.
The “Woman King” actor, the late cleric’s first son, was appointed Senior Pastor, while Toluwani was named Associate Senior Pastor.