Having A Child Weeks After Losing My Dad Was Tough
Nigerian actress and producer Lala Akindoju has shared her experience of balancing motherhood while coping with the grief of losing her father.
In an Instagram post, Akindoju revealed that she welcomed her second child just weeks after her father passed away.
The filmmaker described the period as a “bittersweet season” that tested her strength in unimaginable ways.
She shared that the past year has been a delicate balancing act of managing her career, processing her grief, and adapting to the demands of being a new mother.
“Having a child and losing my daddy weeks apart was not something I hoped for neither was I ready for it. But having a child is such a divine, selfless, high calling because another human being literally depends on you for their survival,” she wrote.
“And so in spite of whatever life throws at you, you have to brace up and be a parent, a mother, because this beautiful being whom you love beyond words needs you. So, as I look back at this past one year of having Adéiyèolú in our lives, I look back with so much gratitude.”
Akindoju also appreciated family, friends, and colleagues who helped her stay grounded. She detailed the challenge of “navigating building a career, grief, and being a new mum, breastfeeding, travelling and raising a 4-year-old,” emphasizing that it was far from a solitary effort.
“Navigating building a career, grief, and being a new mum, breastfeeding, travelling and raising a 4 year old, is no joke, and I don’t mince words when I say it has taken a village. For every member of my village (not all pictured), work colleagues who became family, who showed up, visited,” she wrote.
“Came to do shifts so I could sleep, helped carry him so I could work or pump milk, stayed on the phone with me, checked in, sent gifts, sent messages, cheered, travelled, stayed on the phone, fed him, rocked him to sleep, prayed with me and for me – THIS 1st BIRTHDAY IS FOR ALL OF YOU TOO!! Our celebration is sweeter because we have you all.
“And so today, we are grateful for the gift of Adéiyèolú Monoyooritse Chioke Ayanfe (aka A.D.B, aka Jagzzz,) we are grateful for his belly laughs, his pout, his LOVE FOR FOOD, and most importantly for the privilege and honour to be his parents. He has expanded our hearts and increased our joy.”
Akindoju also reserved special praise for her husband OritseGbubemi Fregene whom she married in September 2018.
She described him as her “pillar of support” and an “understanding partner” who stood by her as she juggled her career and motherhood.
“I’m also grateful for the most understanding baby, from being in set with me in my first and second trimesters, to hoping on planes with me from as young as 4 weeks old, and still going to work with me when necessary. Such a trooper,” she added.
Akindoju and her husband welcomed their first child in 2021 and their second in 2024.