Why do women have to code-switch at work?
In February 2019, Purl broke the internet. Pixar’s animated short — which I first came across on that year’s International Women’s Day — tells the story of bubbly Purl who joins a corporate office steeped in “bro culture”. At first, Purl’s warmth and vibrancy make her stick out — and not in a good way.
Faced with exclusion and dismissiveness, she does what many women in workplaces are forced to do: she sheds her softness, swaps her color for conformity, and adopts the brash, abrasive behaviors of her male colleagues and becomes accepted. By the end of the film, another feminine-presenting character enters the office, but this time, the environment is different.
Because Purl, through her hard-won survival, had paved the way. Purl is fiction, but it mirrors the reality of many of us. This isn’t just a story about fitting in — it’s a reflection of how rigid gender norms shape, and sometimes distort, who we’re allowed to be at work.
What Does Bro Culture Look Like?
It’s easy to imagine it as crude jokes or overt aggression, but bro culture in the workplace is often more subtle. At its heart, it’s a set of male-coded behaviours that aren’t inherently bad.
It looks like dominating conversations, risk-taking bravado, and aggressive competitiveness. Emotional detachment is another hallmark – the “leave your feelings at the door” mindset that frames empathy as weakness.
Bro culture also thrives on transactional networking — relationships built on leverage, access, and “what can you do for me?”. It favours command-and-control leadership styles. And then there’s the brash humour and offhand banter — edgy jokes, and sometimes inappropriate comments masked as friendly bonding.
The problem isn’t that these behaviours exist; is that they’ve become the unwritten rules for workplace success.
Purl May Be A Character, But For Many Women, Her Story Hits Home.
We know what it feels like to walk into spaces where the unspoken expectation is to fit in.
Take the “Power Suit”. It started with the 80s and 90s power-dressing era — think padded shoulders, dark colours, and sharp, structured tailoring. The silent rule has become clear: To be taken seriously, dress like a man – corporate style codes that reward muted colours and neutral palettes that downplay femininity.
You’d learn quickly that a soft, expressive style might make you look approachable, not “leader-like.”
Then there’s the “Professional Headshot” look. Almost laughably rigid: a strong jawline, serious expression, eyes that say no-nonsense. Smiling too much? You risk looking frivolous.
Seem too warm? Suddenly, you’re not “executive material.” The message is subtle yet clear — your competence should radiate from how intimidating you look, not from your approachability.
And let’s not forget the pressure of male-coded informal networking — golf outings and whiskey tastings. This is not to say they’re male sports by nature, but have long been male-coded power spaces. For many women, access to decision-makers and deal flow means mastering these rituals. You become the woman who “networks well with the guys,” the one they say is “one of us.”?
The Outcome? Women Become Left Out, Or Left Behind
When access to leadership happens in informal power circles such as late-night meetings built around male-coded norms, exclusion becomes inevitable. These circles aren’t wrong by default, but they conveniently shut women out. Married women and caregivers are seen as too “unavailable”.
And when women finally get in, it’s often not because their unique perspective is valued, but because they’ve learned to mirror the gatekeepers. Being left out means missing mentorship, sponsorship, and critical decisions.
Leadership itself is still defined by narrow, male-coded traits — boldness, dominance, emotional detachment — forcing women to either perform ‘stereotyped’ versions of leadership or risk being sidelined.
And the bias spills beyond boardrooms into funding. Male custodians of capital back what they know — for example, overlooking women-led ventures in sectors like fashion, food, wellness, or social impact. Not because they lack value, but because the men holding the checkbooks don’t relate.
Let’s Do Better
We need to redefine leadership — valuing competence without coding it as masculine. Access must be democratised, and power circles shouldn’t be gated by rituals or relationships that exclude women by default. Funding conversations need new voices — more women investors, sector-diverse panels, and intentionality about backing leadership that doesn’t mirror the status quo. Because here’s the truth: when leadership is only accessible to those who conform, we’ll lose out on the innovation, creativity, and transformative power of authentic diversity.
Ekemini Akpakpan is a Strategic Leader and Gender & Development Specialist with over a decade of experience strengthening institutions across government, civil society, and the private sector. She specialises in designing transformative programs, building governance systems, and advancing gender equity and inclusive leadership. Akpakpan has led strategy and institutional development initiatives for organisations such as WISCAR, Heifer International Africa, and the Nigerian Police Force Gender Unit. Her thought leadership publications have been published on the World Economic Forum, She Leads Africa, on BusinessDay Women’s Hub, where her writings focus on women’s empowerment and leadership in Africa.
